Received the card?

Great that you’re visiting this page! This probably means that you have received the discrimination card.

We all categorize people. It is a mechanism in us that served us for a long time. But the perception that we have on these categories are learned. Discriminatory perceptions are learned. This card is an invitation to challenge perceptions and spark conversations.

On this page, you can read stories about people’s experiences with discrimination, sources on cultures, history, and traditions.

Learn more about the campaign

Navigate through the page

Personal stories
Listen to podcasts
Articles to read
VIDEOs to watch
Books to read
Movies to watch

Personal experiences

Throughout October, we will add more personal stories. 

Mark Cusack (he/they)

“I pull the card when people feel it is their right to know what my sexuality is.”

Read Mark's story

Selma Lemsaadi

Read Selma's story

“I pull the card when  the world tells me my struggle is personal, but I know it’s systemic.”

Karim El Oteify (he/him)

Read Karim's story

“I pull the card every day. “

Arnout Nederpelt (he/him)

Read Arnout's story

“I pull the card when people make assumptions about me as a neurodivergent person.”

Moham Mohamed (he/him)

Read Mohamed's story

“I pull the card when I’m being judged for my age.” 

Julie Hemels-Hoff

Read Julie's story

“I pull the card when people belittle me because I am queer, young, practically educated, woman”

What is your story?

Share your story

LISTEn TO Podcasts

ARTICLES to read

Tool: Recognizing Microaggressions and the Messages They Send

The History of Pride

Systemic And Structural Racism: Definitions, Examples, Health Damages, And Approaches To Dismantling

Neurodiversity in the Workplace: A strengths-based approach

The Simple Truth About the Gender Pay Gap

Why Understanding Intersectionality Is Key To Stamping Out Workplace Inequality

videos to watch

Books to read

Click on the book cover to visit a website to read an introduction and order. 

MOVIES & SERIES to watch

help us improve

Throughout October, we aim to improve the content on this page. Please help us improve by filling out this questionnaire below. 

Initiator

Blueyse is a leading agency driving positive societal change. We believe that organizations have a crucial role in realizing this change. We empower organizations to become truly inclusive.

Through our innovative education programs, innovative internal communications strategies, and impactful marketing campaigns, we help organizations to thrive and achieve long-term growth, sustainably.

 

Disclaimer: The sources shared on this page are not owned by Blueyse. 

“I pull the card when people feel it is their right to know what my sexuality is.”

“I’m a queer person, I don’t have a set label. Although I do use the terms ‘bisexual’, ‘asexual’, and ‘non-binary’. People have a hard time understanding me because we live in a world with these set categories and people feel like it’s their right to know about a person’s sexuality. They want to know whether you’re straight or gay – and if you’re lucky, some would understand what being bisexual is. Being a fluid and neurodivergent person, I’ve never truly understood what those categories mean. I’ve never really fit into any of them. 

When I try to explain that I don’t have a set category I identify with, people just don’t understand. They start asking you loads of probing questions about your personal life and even your sex life. It’s really disconcerting. I don’t want to talk about my personal life with everyone. I don’t think it’s relevant to anyone, unless we’re dating or close friends. There’s also this false expectation that I’m supposed to understand my own sexuality and gender, it’s something that a lot of people in the queer community get, particularly at the moment.

Connected to that is dating and relationships, it can be monumentally difficult to date or find a partner because very few people want to be with somebody who doesn’t have one of those set identities. You get straight women and also gay men saying, ‘I would never date a bi guy’, for example. People try to probe me by asking all kinds of questions. You find a load of assumptions thinking that we are unfaithful, thinking that we can’t be monogamous, thinking that we are promiscuous, and all of these stereotypes. There’s this ignorance in society that fuels discrimination from various parts of life that other people might just take for granted. 

Convincing vs. influencing

As a coach, I like to work with people on the difference between ‘convincing’ and ‘influencing’. ‘Convincing’ is when someone asks me these probing questions and I respond by trying to justify why I am the way I am and convince them of my validity. ‘Influencing’ is when you just live your life as an unbothered, unapologetic person who happens to be queer or whatever you are. It is about actually taking away your energy from that conversation and accepting that you don’t need them to understand. You don’t need them to get it or accept it. You don’t need anything from them. 

This can be difficult, especially when those people are close to you. You really want them to understand, but it’s about taking back that energy and just accepting yourself. The power in that is truly amazing. What you find is that people will sense that confident energy from you and that will actually impact and influence them a lot more than you trying to justify yourself. 

People tend to respond to what society allows and I feel if those of us from minority backgrounds respond to probing or inappropriate questions, it doesn’t necessarily solve their ignorance – it just enables people to cross that boundary again. On the other hand, when we step back and say “No, I don’t want to discuss this right now” people learn that this is perhaps not an area it’s suitable to ask about.

Everyone has the right to feel what is right for them and what they feel comfortable talking about but I think it’s helpful to remember that we have a choice.

 

– Mark Cusack

(he/they)

NotDefining

“I pull the card when  the world tells me my struggle is personal, but I know it’s systemic.”

“I’ve been wanting to talk about inclusion within the wellbeing space. When we often speak of wellbeing and personal development, these culturally relevant or gender-specific narratives are overlooked. I’ve always been interested in everything related to wellbeing and psychology – I was the kid who would come home from school and watch Oprah. That early curiosity grew into a love for reading, observing, and advocating for mental health and inclusion.

 I wanted to create a space where people could feel validated in their human experiences, when we speak about wellness, we rarely talk about experiences like stepping outside and being immediately discriminated against or dealing with systemic oppression. It’s not you! You’re indulging in enough healing habits, it’s just the world. 

 

Navigation between two cultures

My experience, interest, and skill set are what have led me to where I am today.  I immigrated to the Netherlands at the age of 4 to live with my grandparents, which meant constantly navigating between two different cultures. This background has heightened my sensitivity to issues of racism and discrimination. 

I am passionate about human rights and have worked with non-profit organizations. However, I always felt like we were solving problems by putting plasters on big gaping wounds. If we don’t start addressing the roots of the problems we have then we’ll be putting plasters on wounds and never dealing with the real source. What’s driving all these angry men to start wars? I know it might sound idealistic, but I truly believe that healing ourselves is the first step to healing the world.

Running a magazine, you have the privilege of speaking to individuals daily. These conversations could be about the most transformative, personal, or painful experiences and that has deepened my empathy for people. It has shown me that we are all very much suffering from the system that we’re living in and from discrimination. This has inspired me to continue my work and also that it’s okay to feel a bit down sometimes because it’s not your own doing most of the time but our batshit crazy planet we’re living in. “

– Selma Lemsaadi

Heal Magazine

“I pull the card every day. “

“I’d like to talk about being someone young, someone who is disabled, someone who is a foreigner living in the Netherlands. 

I probably face it most with my disability. When going to a meeting or social event, people will most likely talk to the person pushing my wheelchair. They assume my physical impairment is also a mental one. 

People are often so inspired by me, by the fact that I’m a disabled person, but don’t realize how that is laced with condescension. I don’t think anyone means badly. The fact that no one has ever seen someone like me before, a person of disability who’s studied in a top university. I believe that I was one of the first people with a disability to be a part of my program and that just tells you how far disabled people have been pushed into the margin that you don’t notice them. I often challenge everyone’s perception of what a disabled person is when I dare to be disabled and be an entrepreneur when I dare to be disabled and lead a team, and be young, and creative, and colorful. So, on some level consciously or subconsciously, I inherently make people uncomfortable. That’s exactly why I do what I do. We need to be uncomfortable, to change these narratives, and to create space for these conversations. 

Navigating unconscious biases

I am able to navigate through everyone’s unconscious biases because of my eloquence in the way I communicate and my presence on public stages. This meant that people were able to shift their mindset of me from their initial perception. I realized the impact I have when going to spaces where my voice is valued, where I have received so many hugs, smiles, and recognition for the work that I’ve done. 

I’ll never know, however, how much it has truly impacted me. I will never know which rooms I wasn’t allowed into. What’s helped me is the supportive community. Allyship across a multitude of positionalities, intersectionalities, and identities is so important. I’m a big believer in proactive allyship, a true allyship that promotes one another to get into different spaces and connect you to others. It’s one thing to say you believe in gender equality and the rights of disabled people, but it’s another thing to create spaces in your organizations and use your resources to uplift someone like me. Performative allyship is just as bad as rainbow or pinkwashing.  

You can become a great ally

Everyone at heart has the potential to become a great ally, a lot of us are just misguided or misinformed and don’t know where to start. And that’s all I want to do, to hold as many people’s hands and help them through it. I don’t think many issues can be solved in a generation. However, I want to be part of the generation that helped push the needle so far, that the new generation faces fewer boundaries. I hope that the next disabled person in the future can feel welcome because the work I’ve done has normalized the presence of someone.

Being privileged is not necessarily about the advantages you get. Privilege is about what you don’t have to deal with on a daily basis.” 

– Karim El Otiefy (he/him)

The Wheels of Impact

“I pull the card when people make assumptions about me as a neurodivergent person.”

“I pulled the card during a probation period at work when a company in The Netherlands hired me. The company had a strict formal expectation on the dress code which meant that I had to wear a suit and proper shoes. Of course, it was a difficult time financially for me as I was low on funds, however, my train of thought led me to purchase a suit and shoes with the first paycheck I received from the company. At the start of the second month, I had a suit but the shoes were made to order so they had not arrived yet. Unfortunately, this was not enough for the company, and my employment was ended. Something I believe wouldn’t have happened if I was neurotypical. My autism leads me to think or make decisions that, while logical, don’t best serve me in these scenarios. 

At the time I was flabbergasted, but I believe this comes from a lack of understanding of the strengths of people with autism. Throughout my time at university, especially when getting my propedeuse, I managed to finish it even when receiving the advice that I should find another study.  

During my career, there have been instances where I’ve been denied or not been considered for promotions or other roles. Oftentimes, due to the assumptions that people have about me, they think that I would not be capable of managing a team. Now I’ve co-founded the Autism Embassy and later became the chief ambassador for an Employee Network centered around neurodiveristy. This way, I can offer support, lead, and be vocal on these issues. 

 

Focus on people’s strengths

We need to realize that everyone is different. More importantly, we need to focus on people’s strengths instead of weaknesses. There is so much in terms of creativity and idea creation neurodivergent people can bring, and see things differently to the norm. We need to find ways to make the challenges faced by neurodivergent people less important. 

Most of the problems I face come from a lack of knowledge. If more people are more open about these issues and realities, our society can become more understanding. Above all, let’s increase our communication with each other. Listen to understand and do not think about your response before you’ve finished listening.”

 

– Arnout Nederpelt

(He/Him)

“I pull the card when I’m being judged for my age.” 

“We all live in a society with unwritten rules and checkpoints that align with how old you are. We go through life while hitting all these checkpoints from leaving school for example from university education, a career then starting a family, and more work till finally at some point retirement. If I were to ask you to put a number of how old you should be while hitting all of these checkpoints, we would probably get a linear chain of numbers from 18 increasing around 5 years per checkpoint. Giving us a clearer view of these unspoken rules of where someone should be in their lives. 

When I talk about ageism I want to highlight that many people older and younger are discriminated against in different ways. It has been an aspect of my life recently that I’ve had to navigate through and has genuinely debilitated me at some points. 

Growing older based on age is a fact of life. It’s an uncomfortable truth we all have to deal with and time comes for us all. However, growing up in a society based on experience, skill acquisition, and maturity is a theoretical growth and constructed journey that stems from the capitalist system we live by. Judging someone by comparing their age to where they are in life is discrimination. 

Let’s start to intrinsically understand one another. There are different journeys and timeframes that get us to these unwritten checkpoints in life. And there are some who get to these checkpoints in a different order. Seeing people for the energy, knowledge, and impetus they have and can bring to your life or business is a better framework for who they are than their age.”

 

– Mohamed Mohamed

“I pull the card when people belittle me because I am queer, young, practically educated, and a woman”

“For over 5 years now, I’ve been an entrepreneur. My team and I have been working together with global companies. Both commercial and non-profit. We are on a greater mission of realizing societal change. 

I’ve built a mission-driven team and have concrete ideas on how we can enrich our ways of working. To transform ‘business as usual’ into a new way, one that is more inclusive and can have a positive impact. Impact on the people in- and outside businesses. 

I would say these are quite some statements. These are ambitious. Yet I am a woman, practically educated, and queer. 

I pull the card when somebody in a professional setting questions: 

  • “How do you think you can realize this with your little business?” 
  • “You’re the exception of the people who are practically educated.”
  • “What is your sex life like this because you like women and men?”
  • “Hey girl, how is it going with your little business?”

 

I understand that everyone has perceptions. Of course, and I am very aware that I have them as well. I’ve made many of these kind of comments. And I know that I have assumptions and prejudices. And I hope that people will call me out whenever I discriminate against others. Challenging me and my perceptions. 

Staying curious and open to people’s perceptions and perspectives is in my opinion key. Knowing that you are not always right.”

Ga naar de inhoud